


The Hurt Is Good

by Corny_Cornflakes



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Smut, F/M, Feelings, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Hopper is alive bitcheees, I Made Myself Cry, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Post-Season/Series 03, Post-Season/Series 03 Fix-It
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-07
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2020-06-23 23:32:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19711747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Corny_Cornflakes/pseuds/Corny_Cornflakes
Summary: Seven months after all these terrible events, Joyce decided to visit Hawkins for one evening. She didn't go there to meet somebody or to look at her old house. She booked herself a dinner for two at Enzo's, seven o'clock.





	The Hurt Is Good

**Author's Note:**

> The season 3 finale destroyed me. I spent 20 minutes in the shower crying like a baby. 
> 
> Enjoy my attempt to make the wait for season 4 as pleasant as possible and please let me know if you'd like to read more chapters! Sending out a lot of hugs to all Jopper shipper out there, love y'all <3

It's been exactly seven months.

Seven exhausting, painful and heartbreaking months.

_Make mistakes, learn from them, and when life hurts you, because it will, remember the hurt. The hurt is good. It means you're out of that cave._

Joyce caught herself hearing these words echoing through her head every time she would think of him. Every time she would think of Hopper. And when she did, it felt just as if she would open an almost recovered wound again. It stung, it hurt, it was painful. But she couldn't stop opening the wound because the pain felt so good. So unexplainably good. 

Maybe it was because he only existed in her memories now. He wouldn't suddenly burst through the door at Melvald's to ask for parenting advice, he wouldn't share cigarettes with her on the porch at midnight while the kids watched movies together and he would never place his hand on her shoulder when she burned the food again. 

She wouldn't listen to his complaints about Mike and El, she wouldn't eat the sandwiches he brought her every single day before work _"just because"_ and she would never feel his skin against hers when she would put her hand on his to give him a sense of comfort and support again.

These were only memories. 

Memories that would appear in front of her eyes whenever she closed them. Memories that haunted her dreams every single night. Memories that made her eyes tear up, but it still felt so good to see him again. Even if none of it was real. Because that's all she had left.

The good and bad memories tattooed in her brain. 

The only things left after him were Hopper's shirts she would use as pj's, which made her feel as if his body was wrapped around hers and a photo on her nightstand of them together, which Jonathan took in '84. They were sitting on the porch swing together, his arm on her shoulder. Hopper laughed about a joke he just cracked and Joyce looked at him with a surprised look. This was the first time in a long while that she saw him let out a genuine laugh. He seemed to be happy and it made her feel this way as well. 

And well, _that_ letter. That letter, which wasn't even directed to her, but she would still sometimes take it from El's desk and read it before bed. It was heartwarming to know that he got up on his feet again after all the bad things that had happened in his life. That one damaged girl without any real family made his life so much better. She gave him a purpose. A reason to come back home safely every day. 

Not only Joyce lost a close person, but so did El. She had to live with the fact that the only real parental figure she ever had suddenly died a tragic death. She had nowhere to go, so Joyce took her with her. That was what Hopper would've wanted.

It wasn't a problem for El to stay at the Byers' house, since she was surrounded by people she already knew and loved. But it was difficult for Joyce to look into her big brown eyes every day, knowing that she was the one who killed, _killed_ , her father. She knew that if they hadn't waited that long to turn the keys, both would be alive. But they waited. 

The moment she did turn the keys though, she couldn't look at him any longer. She simply couldn't face the fact that in order to save their kids and maybe even the entire world, she would have to kill him. The man who did everything he could to save her son. The man who never left her side in order to protect her and her family. The man who finally found a purpose in life again after being through hell. The man she learned to _love_. 

After everything they've been through together, she actually started to love Jim Hopper, even when they were bickering about the most ridiculous things, because she knew that deep down he was just worried about her. She never admitted it out loud, but him being jealous of every man she talked to made her fall even harder for him. Because this only proved that he truly cared about her. 

But Joyce would never experience such feelings again.

Feelings. _Feelings_. Jesus. The truth is, since Hopper had been gone she forgot what those even were. She was stuck in one place. In a cave. A deep, dark cave. 

Three months after his death, she took her sons and El and they moved away. To a new and safe place far away from Hawkins. Joyce thought that maybe she would feel better there, but that wasn't the case. The place they now called their _home_ didn't feel like home at all. A _home_ wasn't just a roof and some walls. A real home was a place of comfort and the people who surround you. 

Although Joyce had fewer anxiety attacks once they moved away, the fact that she had to separate her kids from their friends and lovers and the realization that she wouldn't get to see Hopper every day made her heart ache. She wouldn't see him no matter where she lived, but their old house was at least full of memories of him. Memories so painful, yet so beautiful. 

Seven months after all these terrible events, Joyce decided to visit Hawkins for one evening. She didn't go there to meet somebody or to look at her old house. She booked herself a dinner for two at Enzo's, seven o'clock. 

Joyce was wearing a red floral dress, which highlighted her curves perfectly. It was hanging in her closet for ages, not putting it on once until that evening. 

She was seated on a table for two, pretty much in the middle of the room. Looking around, she noticed how romantic and fancy that place was. The first time Hopper asked her to have dinner with him really was supposed to be a date, wasn't it?

"Good evening, can I take your order?" A pleasant voice suddenly asks her out of nowhere, scaring her a little bit. A waiter with blonde hair and a white shirt was standing right next to her, waiting for an answer. 

"Uh, I'll have some red wine. How is your Chianti?" Joyce asks, realizing she's not hungry at all.

"Our Chianti is excellent, ma'am."

"I'll have a bottle", she adds, returning the menu to the waiter and staring at the empty seat in front of her, imagining Hopper sitting there and staring at her with heart-eyes like he always did. 

_"You look beautiful tonight, Joy."_

_"You don't look bad either, Hop. Is that a new shirt?"_

_"Yeah, brand new. I really wanted to look nice for such a special occasion."_

_"Well, it works for me."_

_"Do you regret standing me up before now?"_

_"Yeah, maybe I do."_

"You're Chianti, ma'am." The blonde waiter returned with a bottle of red wine and two glasses, placing them on the table and interrupting Joyce's fantasy. 

"Thank you." She immediately opened the bottle and poured a lot of alcohol into her glass, taking a long sip and sighing. 

Still staring at her, the waiter cleared his throat and looked at the empty seat again. "Would you like to order your entrée, ma'am?"

"I'm not really hungry. I'll just stick to the wine." She answers again, avoiding eye contact and taking another slow sip.

"Well... would you like to order something for your date? They seem to be running late."

Those words hit Joyce out of nowhere. She booked two seats knowing that no one would come. She knew that she wouldn't see Hopper ever again. _What the hell is she doing in that romantic restaurant on a Friday at 7 o'clock completely alone?_

"No, I don't expect to see anybody tonight."

To her response the waiter suddenly giggled, leaving Joyce confused and slightly offended.

"I'm very sorry, it just reminded me of a situation that happened at this very table before."

"W- what situation?" Joyce's detachment quickly changed into interest, putting down the glass and looking directly at the waiter for the first time.

"There was this man, I believe that happened a couple of months ago, who sat at the same seat as you ma'am. He seemed to be very excited about his date and ordered a bottle of Chianti for the lady. Unfortunately, he got stood up and left drunk."

Joyce connected the two dots and realized that this story must've been about Hopper. "Could you please tell me more?"

"Well... I do not remember everything from that night clearly, but I remember this man spitting at me and leaving the restaurant with the bottle, calling himself the chief of the police."

She focused her eyes at the seat in front of her again and felt the tears forming. This story was in fact about Hopper. She didn't regret anything more in her life than standing him up that night. Maybe things would've ended differently if she didn't. Maybe he would sit there with her and complain about Mike and El again. Maybe they would laugh at a joke he cracked.

Feeling a tear rolling down her cheek and realizing how pathetic it was for her to be alone at a fancy restaurant, Joyce took the last sip of her Chianti. 

"Can I please get the bill?"

___________________________

It was past midnight when Joyce arrived back home with a headache. She cried in the car while driving back. Like crazy. All her thoughts and memories of Hopper were flashing through her head, activated by the story she heard from that waiter. 

Trying to stay as quiet as possible to not wake the kids, Joyce took off her high heels and made her way over to her bedroom, recognizing she's not even tired. She just sat down on the corner of her bed, staring at the closed next to it. 

Inside it, there was a huge box labeled _"Hopper"_ with all of the stuff they found in his old cabin. Since they moved to a new house, Joyce didn't dare to open that box. Was she scared or was she not ready to face reality yet? Maybe it was the right time to finally do it. To look at the only things left after him. After the last man she would love in her life. 

Getting up again and reaching for it, Joyce was suddenly interrupted by footsteps outside the bedroom door. Turning around, she noticed El looking at her with a serious look.

"El, sweetie, what's wrong?"

A soft smile crept over the girl's face. "I think I have my powers back."

"Really? How do you know?" Joyce was surprised and quickly closed the closet door, not wanting her new daughter to find out that she was still grieving over him. She didn't want her to have any more worries.

"I had a vision. About Hop."

Joyce's eyes widened, the words not being able to reach her head. El slowly started to walk towards her with a huge smile and tears in her brown eyes. 

"He's alive."

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you very much for reading my fanfiction! I would really appreciate it if you left a comment letting me know if you liked it and if you didn't, it would be great if you let me know how I could improve my writing. Also, I'm sorry if there are any spelling errors or grammatical mistakes. English isn't my mother tongue and I'm still learning. :) P.S. If you want to talk about Jopper and Stranger Things with me, hit me up on Tumblr! @obsessedwithadultships


End file.
